C.D. Reimer: A Silicon Valley Writer

Short Story - Wizards of Flushington

"Wizards of Flushington" is slated for publication in Fresh Ground, Coffee House Flash Fiction V3 (Wicked East Press / December 2012).

Unlike the movies that made it look so easy, flushing yourself down the toilet to magically reappear at your destination wasn’t that easy at all. Even the most experienced witches have trouble with commode traveling, so Rachel read on the Internet. With a flush of the toilet, she finds herself far from home in a strange land.

eBook - Seven Minutes Late

My newest flash collection ebook, "Seven Minutes Late," is now available.

A collection of five 500-word flash stories being published for the first time.

"Seven Minutes Late" — As the crowd and a businessman stand toe-to-toe at the door of a light rail train under pouring rain, and neither side moving, the businessman pushes his way through and someone takes offense.

"The Gift Horse" — Two brothers discuss a startling revelation when they learn about the death of an old man who sold them a lame horse when they were children.

"That Meaningless Blade" — With the Bible in one hand and a drawn pocketknife in the other, a life-or-death decision is made.

"Sweet Time" — As a man watches everyone else take their sweet at the cash register, he finds himself doing the same thing.

"Walking The Talk" — The crowd becomes annoyed with a chattering teenager on a cellphone as they ride light rail train from downtown until tragedy strikes.

Flash Stories - The Editor Is Always Right / Zombies At The Movies

The following flash stories are slated for publication in Daily Frights 2013 anthology (Pill Hill Press / December 2012).

"The Editor Is Always Right" — J.K. Rottenblotter, editor of Horrible Stories Magazine, has a midnight visit from a rejected short story writer and debates whether classical vampire or sparkling vampires represent real vampires.

"Zombies At The Movies" — As Jeri coughs constantly as she serves popcorn and drinks from behind the concession stand, two movies goers get more than they bargain for as they talk about the newest zombie movie that they're going to see.

Both of these flash stories are based on real life situations that begged for a speculative element to be added. This is my second and third flash stories accepted for this particular anthology.

Three Anthologies Available For Ordering

As circumstances would have it, three anthologies with three short stories are available for ordering.

"Behind Closed Doors" anthology (Wicked East Press / March 2012), featuring "Scarlet Hearts (The Giggling Mongoose)."

When an old attorney and his three young harlots refused to leave a tip on a big bill, Charles Goodwin, the cannibalistic owner of The Giggling Mongoose, becomes frustrated that he can't teach the old goat a lesson in restaurant manners. When the scorned wife makes him an offer he can't refuse, he serves up a special Valetine's Day dinner that leaves their hearts bleeding for more.

"Short Sips" anthology (Wicked East Press / March 2012), featuring "The Kitterun Five Tourist Trap."

Although Humans and Kitteruns—a feline-humanoid species—are the most physically compatible of all the sentient species, Mr. Vayne is horrified to learn from the hotel manager, Ms. Pussey Galore, that seeing the long tail of a sexually aroused female Kitterun could cost him his life. With his vacation ruined and the travel fees non-refundable, he discovers something else about the Kitteruns that makes this planet an inhospitable place to visit.

"Roboterotica" anthology (DFE Quarterly Press / April 2012), featuring "Sunday In The Park With Dawei."

When straitlaced Sasha responds to the personal ad on Andyslist and finds free-spirited Dawei sunbathing topless in Golden Gate Park, they tangle hot and heavy on a park bench to learn why androids are considered to be sexually deviant in the future.

eBook - A Silicon Valley Writer Volume 1 (2008-2009)

My new non-fiction ebook, "A Silicon Valley Writer Volume 1 (2008-2009)," is now available for FREE from Scribd and Smashwords.

A collection of blog postings about writing and being a writer from C.D. Reimer: A Silicon Valley Writer. This first volume features 18 blog postings from 2008 and 2009.

This particular ebook may or may not be available on Amazon due to a "technical glitch" (i.e., the ebook is FREE elsewhere). If it does become available, and unless Amazon offers it for FREE, it will be $0.99 USD. Meanwhile, you can download the Kindle-compatible version from Smashwords for FREE.

eBook - Some Bad Decisions

My newest short story ebook, "Some Bad Decisions," is now available.

Claude brings Plain Jane, a petite albino prostitute, back to his motel room for some late night entertainment. Unnerved by her craving for alcohol, unexplainable incidents and her knowledge of the Las Vegas ripper, he has a deadly surprise waiting for her. Once they start rolling in bed, he discovers that she is no ordinary prostitute and finds himself in a world of hurt.

A shorter version of this 3,730-word short story first appeared in Sinisterotica anthology (DFE Quarterly / April 2011).

Disclaimer: All characters and events are fictional, and any similarity to real people and events is purely coincidental. This is a work of erotic fiction intended to be read by people over 18 years of age (or 21 in some areas) where reading erotic fiction is legal.

eBook - A Misplaced Stick

My newest short story ebook, "A Misplaced Stick," is now available.

After his uncle disappears into the forest with a bucket of lard, Little Billy and his grandfather track him down in the more treacherous and isolated areas of the family ranch. Along the way he learns about the birds and the bees, what being a girl crazy teenager meant to his father and uncle, and why putting his stick into a larded knothole can be a deadly experience.

This 2,515-word short story is being published for the first time.

eBook - Let Me Be Your Spook

My newest short story ebook, "Let Me Be Your Spook," is now available.

George and Gracie met the old fashioned way in the mid-1950’s, arriving in separate cars with their dates for a wedding reception at a community hall outside of Stockton. As their dates fetches refreshments and don't return, the low-level C.I.A. analyst and medieval history student trade notes on why their dates conspired against church rules to see each other in the manure capital of California.

This 1,700-word short story is being published for the first time, and a prequel to the short story, "The Uninvited Spook."

Read An eBook Week (March 4-10, 2012)

In honor of "Read An eBook Week" for this year, the following ebook titles at Smashwords are available at 50% off or FREE!

• A Few Short Stories Omnibus Volume 1 - Now $0.99 (use coupon code REW50)
• A Few Short Stories Omnibus Volume 2 - Now $0.99 (use coupon code REW50)
• Essays From Silicon Valley Omnibus Volume 1 - Now $0.99 (use coupon code REW50)
• KGO Radio Jumps The Shark: More News, Less Talk - Now FREE (use coupon code RE100)
• The Devil's Advocates - Now FREE (use coupon code RE100)
• The Semper Fi Engagement - Now FREE (use coupon code RE100)

If you enjoy reading any of my ebooks, please leave a kind review on Smashwords.

eBook - Essays From Silicon Valley Omnibus Volume 1

My newest essay omnibus ebook, "Essays From Silicon Valley Omnibus Volume 1," is now available

Read four essays from Silicon Valley for one low price in this first omnibus edition.

"The Cabbage Patch Doll Fight: A Christmas Shopping Tale" — Have you ever wondered how far a grandmother would go to get the hottest Christmas toy for her baby granddaughter? I never did until I witnessed how desperate my mother was to get a Cabbage Patch doll for my baby niece in the early 1980s. A violent incident that would change my life forever.

"Death At A Hell's Angels' Funeral: Driving Past The Memories" — The death of Jeffrey “Jethro” Pettigrew, the 54-year-old president of the San Jose chapter of the California Hell’s Angels motorcycle club, gunned down at a Nevada casino on Friday, September 23, 2011, meant nothing to me. I was stuck in a traffic jam outside the cemetery where 3,000 Hell's Angels attended a funeral and a shooting in Silicon Valley.

"Experiencing The Death of Elvis: Another Childhood Tragedy" — I read about the death of Steve Jobs five minutes before everyone else did at work on Wednesday, October 5, 2011. An immense feeling of sadness overcame me, but not that of mourning for a technology visionary. I felt like I was experiencing the death of Elvis Presley all over again, shuddering at the thought of another childhood tragedy in the making.

"KGO Radio Jumps The Shark: More News, Less Talk" — KGO Radio (810AM) switched to an all-news format, and, in the process, letting go the best talk-radio talent in the San Francisco Bay Area. Cumulus Media, KGO Radio’s current corporate overlords, decided to jump the shark by throwing away 40 years of broadcasting history in a hasty bid to improve ratings.

Note: These essays were previously published as individual ebook titles.